The Pain Pleasure Ratio is a performance piece I wrote and performed live for an event at Club Congress in Hotel Congress located in downtown Tucson.
It is a piece that combines several different relationships into one simple equation, that pain equals pleasure, or the opposite, pain does not equal pleasure.
When I wrote this piece I had recently experienced heartache like I had not known before. As a kinky queer I put together the pieces for the equation based on power exchange relationships.
The person who asked me to write it encouraged the element of catharsis in performing my angst on the stage. She was right.
Unfortunately the video documentation of the live performance did not survive, but I have this rendition that we recorded in the studios of AccessTucson. It was a different kind of catharsis to go through the process of editing myself with such an intimate piece of my life. It helped put the relationships into perspective and give me distance from the pain.
Eventually I healed. This video ran on the public access channels of Tucson for about a year. My pain was aired for any one to watch, not just a select audience in a club.